It is not a competition.

Life is not a competition and that includes the area of personal finance as well. There is no need to compare our income against others, how much we are worth, the kind of house do we live in and the list goes on. Comparing does not make us any happier. In fact, it can make us feel inadequate and inferior.

But I get it. It is hard for us not to compare. From the day we were born, our development were probably compared against other babies. For example, at which month did we start crawling, walking and speaking. When we started our formal education, our academic performance would be ranked against our peers at every level. As we enter the workforce, our salary and career progression naturally become the next basis of comparison. Yet, we do have a choice to move away from this norm.

Scarcity Mentality vs Abundance Mentality

Change begins by adjusting our mindset and definition of financial success. This tendency to compare and compete could stem from having a “scarcity mentality”. In Dr Stephen Covey’s best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he mentioned about the scarcity mentality where people may see the world as a zero-sum game where resources are finite. If one takes a piece from the pie, that means less is left for everyone else. However, the contrary is true in life. We see more resources being created with collaboration, innovation and technology today. We ought to adopt a “abundance mentality”, recognising that there is plenty out there for everyone.

Redefine Financial Success

Besides, we are unique individuals with different gifts and abilities so the starting point would be different for everyone. Rather than competing against others, our responsibility is to be good stewards of the money that we have and how we manage it. We can also redefine how we perceive financial success. For instance, I do not have material pursuits (like buying a bigger house and getting a car) as part of my financial goals. Instead, my definition of financial success is to earn more than enough to cover my household expenses and manage my excess savings prudently. I have learnt that by having a positive mindset surrounding money, it is easier for me to reach a state of contentment.

If you find yourself struggling with the tendency to compare yourself against others, know that you are not alone. Start by reflecting on your thoughts and emotions when you find yourself comparing against other and pencilling down how financial success looks like to you. Also, note that this process of change is not a one-off event but a lifelong journey. Even till today, I find myself slipping back into the scarcity mindset at times. Therefore, we need to consciously adopt an abundance mindset and learn to celebrate the success of others. Let the success of others inspire you to become a better version of yourself!